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Let’s practice seeing children’s behavior as a cry for help. Remember, when we see the best in others we bring out the best in ourselves. Coach's Column Paulette Maggiacomo February 1, 2022 Ahhhhh…….February is upon us and brings Valentine’s Day, the day when we reach out to those we love and see the best in others. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if this continued every day? Using The Power of Love and The Skill of Positive Intent as offered in Conscious Discipline®, we can indeed make the world a better place. Dr. Becky Bailey states that The Power of Love allows us to manage our triggers and remain calm enough to see the best in others. Believe it or not, we do not possess the super power of reading someone’s mind and knowing why they did what they did. Let’s take a look at this picture in the lower left of the screen. What is Nancy’s intent? To get the toy that Camden has To hurt Camden because she is mean To express her anger To push my last button We don’t know what her intent was. What if we flipped it and looked at it differently? "Nancy, you wanted the toy so you bit Camden. You didn’t know what else to do. You may not bite, biting hurts. When you want a toy, look at Camden and say, May I have the toy? Let’s try it now." You have shown up with love and lifted both yourself and Nancy up to the higher centers of our brain, taught a new skill, and life moves forward. We cannot change the behavior, we can only see it differently. Let’s practice seeing children’s behavior as a cry for help. Remember, when we see the best in others we bring out the best in ourselves. Your children see everything you do in the classroom. Imagine what they are thinking when you model this type of behavior – they can answer to two questions that enables them to learn: Am I Safe? Am I Loved? They see that you are looking at them with positive intent, seeing that they are missing a skill, and are willing to teach it to them. I wonder what will happen when you see the photo in the lower right...will you look at it with positive intent? I hope so! Until next time, know that I am wishing you well, Paulette! Back to Coaching Back to Newsletters

Parent Engagement and the 5 Languages of Appreciation | Rhonda J. Meyers | Heartfelt Impressions Learning Centers Parent Engagement and the 5 Languages of Appreciation April 1, 2023 Handout (PDF) Back Rhonda J. Meyers Heartfelt Impressions Learning Centers

Tackling Tough Behaviors Coach's Column Paulette Maggiacomo June 1, 2021 Wow, once again, Barb O’Neill has outdone herself with the presenters she lined up for her virtual conference this year, Transforming Challenging Behavior Online Conference 2021 ! After reviewing the list of 21 presenters and topics, I knew that I had to start with Sally Haughey’s talk on Why a Sense of Wonder is Essential for Tackling Tough Behaviors Like Throwing Chairs . For those of you who don’t know Sally, she is the founder of Fairy Dust Teaching – an amazing site for early educators. My first year teaching high school I had a young man, let’s call him Joe, who did indeed throw a chair across the room. Granted it was a small room because I worked one on one or in small groups with Juniors and Seniors who needed to pass their Regents Competency Tests in reading and writing in order to graduate high school in New York state. Boy, I ure wish that I knew then what I know now. I did was I was taught to do. I reported Joe to my Principal and he was suspended for 2 days – definitely not one of my prouder moments. Had I listened to this video, I would have done things differently. You may be thinking, geez Paul, I work with very young children, what does this have to do with me? Let me tell you...today, I would have realized that Joe was exhibiting his frustration the only way he knew how and that he was missing the skills he needed to resolve his frustration. I would have wondered what in the world caused him to do this...I missed that completely. Fast forward 20 years and I see his older sister Lisa at a party. One thing led to another and our conversation steered towards Joe who was in the Marines and having a successful career. I brought up the infamous chair throwing and she told me that Joe was being teased by several members of the football team and was embarrassed to come to my class. Had I taken the time to wonder, and to speak with him, we could have resolved the situation differently. You see, I had not taken the time to get to know Joe. I was only out of college for 4 years and this was my first year teaching high school. I did not understand the impact of getting to know, truly know my students. Being only a few years older than they were, I had to walk a very fine line. I didn’t realize until later in the year that there was a stigma attached to attending my classes – you were labeled ‘stupid’ or ‘loser’. As luck would have it, the cheerleading coach resigned and I applied for the job. This opened a whole new way of connecting with my students – many of whom were athletes. We got to know each other on neutral ground. Simply because I changed my mindset to I wonder why ...why are kids being teased about coming to my class...why is my class any different than any other required class for high school graduation? By having these discussions, it led to a change in their mindsets which in turn led to an all-around positive change. I urge you to look at the child in your room who is exhibiting challenging behavior. Take the time to wonder, lean into that child and find out what it is that they need. Sending them out of the room to another teacher or to your Director will not change their behavior. By talking to them in a way that you would want to be spoken to can open up many new doors. Take the time to build that relationship and let the child know that you will stand by them no matter what. Don’t look to fix the problem but to instead deepen the relationship. Those of us in the field of early education especially need to remember the why …why are we here….it is because we make a difference every time we enter our classrooms. Please make the commitment to never lose your why or wonder …..I believe in you.😁 Until next time, I wish you well, Paulette Back to Coaching Back to Newsletters

Learning to Play, Playing to Learn | Dr. Peg Oliveira | Gesell Program in Early Childhood, Yale Child Study Center Learning to Play, Playing to Learn November 15, 2025 Handout (PDF) Back Dr. Peg Oliveira Gesell Program in Early Childhood, Yale Child Study Center Discover the joy of learning through play! Learn how play supports children's cognitive development and explore play as a spectrum Examine how play fosters learning and peer connection Uncover the benefits of play on executive function skills in early childhood education classrooms Space is limited! Register today Available at no cost to early educators in Indian River County Certificate of in-service provided CEUs available from FLAEYC Breakfast and lunch will be provided Join us for a chance to win workshop raffle prizes Workshop will be held at Vero Beach Museum of Art

Conscious Discipline: School Family | Vicky Hepler | Conscious Discipline Conscious Discipline: School Family April 2015 Handout (PDF) Back Vicky Hepler Conscious Discipline

Sadie M Ed, Assistant Director, Childcare Resources School at Childcare Resources of Indian River Sadie Collet M Ed Assistant Director, Childcare Resources School Parent/Child Questions Joined Childcare Resources in 2019 Contact 772-567-3202 ext. 131 Back

We know that all behavior is a form of communication and it is up to us to teach our children the necessary skills to successfully communicate their needs. Coach's Column Paulette Maggiacomo September 1, 2021 As you are reading this newsletter you have completed the first month with your new Class, building your Conscious Discipline® skills. Connections are being made, and relationships built. Hopefully you begin each day with a greeting for every child, have posted your visual schedule, started posting visual routines, and have begun your Brain Smart Start which includes your Daily Commitments and Wish Well Board . (If you have any questions on these activities please refer to last month's newsletter in which Susan Roberts so beautifully reviewed these). While these strategies are important in your classroom management, the key strategy is a choice that you get to make: Are you willing to choose to see the best in each child? It is easy to do this when a child is behaving, but what about when a child hits, kicks, yells, is defiant, or has a full blown fit. Are you still willing to see through this behavior and realize the Brain State that the child is in and work on strengthening the missing skill or skills needed? We know that all behavior is a form of communication and it is up to us to teach our children the necessary skills to successfully communicate their needs. Alex is busy building a tower in the Block Center. Jay walks by kicks the tower down and laughs as he continues walking. Alex uses the only skill he knows and starts crying inconsolably. Our first instinct might be to go to Alex and tell him to stop crying and rebuild the tower, after all, it is no big deal. As you pause by taking your 3 deep breaths, the crying turns to wailing. When a child is in this state and has no words, the way to help him self-regulate is to simply sit near him and breathe. No words, no lectures, simply be present and breathe with him. Once he makes eye contact with you (it may take some time – teachers often give up because they feel they don’t have the time to waste. I assure that you are not wasting your time. You are letting Alex know that he matters and modeling empathy for the other children to observe) use: Describe "You are crying” Notice “You seem sad” Acknowledge “You did not like it when Jay knocked down your tower” “You are safe” “Keep breathing” “You can handle this" Alex says, ”I worked so hard and that stupid Jay knocked down my tower and laughed at me. He is not my friend anymore”. When Alex uses his words you have helped him move up to his Emotional State by acknowledging his feelings and showing him empathy. At this point he is ready to engage with you and work on solving the problem. A conversation may go something like this: “You didn’t like it when Jay knocked your tower. It hurt your feelings. You wanted to see how high your tower could go. Let’s practice what you could say to Jay: Repeat after me: 'Jay, I don’t like it when you knock my tower down. Next time, ask to play with me.' Let’s practice it together. Do you want to go by yourself to tell Jay or do you want me to go with you. Remember to tap Jay on the shoulder, look him in the eye and tell him. Which do you choose?” Follow the child’s lead. It takes practice, practice, practice, and more practice to help guide a child to their Executive State. There may even be some oops moments along the way. Remember to give yourself and the child grace as you navigate this journey together. Dr. Becky Bailey always stresses these important points for the adults: The child should never be in a higher brain state than the adult and always remember that our internal behavior dictates their behavior. As your school year continues its adventure, remember to take the time to take care of yourself. Until next time, I wish you well, Paulette Back to Coaching Back to Newsletters

In the spring of 2019 the professional development workshop Big Ideas for Early Mathematics was presented by the Erikson Institute. Coach's Column Susan Roberts April 24, 2020 In the spring of 2019 the professional development workshop Big Ideas for Early Mathematics was presented by the Erikson Institute. The focus was on precursor skills which provide a foundation for future mathematical skills. An important precursor skill is sorting.This is a quote from the technical assistance handout the Childcare Resources coaches gave to centers after the workshop: Exploring sets “Sorting things into categories is one of the ways mathematics enters into our daily life. At “clean-up time,” children discover that forks and knives belong in one place, plates belong somewhere else, and glasses and cups belong in yet another place. As children and adults talk about what makes one set of things go together and why other things belong elsewhere, they are doing important talking… and thinking. Talking about attributes and qualities such as size, shape, texture, and color encourages children to look more closely at things. This also is a great way to develop children’s vocabulary.” - Erikson Institute Talking about attributes of objects, sorting and categorizing are skills parents can do with their children every day. These simple activities are not just busy work. They are helping their child develop important pre math skills. These activities also help with pre literacy and pre writing skills such as vocabulary development, visual discrimination, focus, critical thinking, and fine motor skills. Share these home activities with your parents: Ages 3 and under: Match color or shape of a limited number of objects. Start with one difference (ie, color) and then move on to two (color and shape). Use large blocks, balls, socks, plastic cups, etc. As your child begins to understand, add more objects and more attributes (ie, different sizes of blocks, different shades of blue) Ages 3 and up: Sort toys by various attributes such as books vs puzzles, blocks vs animals. This is actually called clean up time! Then categorize by specific attributes. People vs animals, blocks vs Legos, little books vs big books, etc. Categorize with objects such as buttons and beans. This presents lots of choices and makes the activity more challenging. Buttons can be categorized by color, size, number of holes, shape, material they are made from, etc. The divided paper helps to organize the objects. Beans can be categorized by color, shape, etc. An egg carton can be a useful sorting and storage container for small items. Remember: Talk all of the time, about everything, all day long! Small items that can pass through a toilet paper roll can be a choking hazard for children under 3. Always supervise children using small objects. Back to Coaching Back to Newsletters

Connect to Your Calling | Coy Bowles | Connect to Your Calling February 3, 2024 Handout (PDF) Back Coy Bowles Literacy and early education advocate by day, and multi-platinum music star by night, Coy Bowles has some pretty exciting things in store for us. Coy Bowles is probably best known as a guitarist, keyboardist, singer and songwriter for the three-time Grammy Award-winning Zac Brown Band. Hoever, off stage he is a teacher and parent blazing trails in the world of early childhood education. Join us to connect to your calling! Gain an understanding of the key factors in investigating the root causes of success or fulfillment Recognize the importance of the "Butterfly Phase/Window of Opportunity" for child development & the implications of that for teaching and learning Recognize the importance of a social-emotional foundation for every student

Lisa , Assistant Director, Wellness and Early Intervention at Childcare Resources of Indian River Lisa Gonzalez Assistant Director, Wellness and Early Intervention Enrollment Joined Childcare Resources in 2019 Contact 772-567-3202 ext. 113 Back

Building any relationship takes trust which takes time to develop. Families are entrusting us to value their child. Coach's Column Paulette Maggiacomo August 27, 2020 Relationships, Connections, School Family, and Community are the common threads that weave throughout the Transform Challenging Behavior Virtual Conference 2020 . A successful childcare site needs to be built on these foundations in order to flourish. Having a positive relationship with a child’s family was the basis of Luis Hernandez’s presentation How to Collaborate with Families When There’s Challenging Behavior . What can we do to build successful relationships with families? This relationship begins before we even meet the family. When they call to inquire about our site, how do we speak with them? Are we upbeat, positive, and make it clear that we are happy they called? Or are we in a hurry and just give them the standard line? When we meet them for the first time, do we greet them with a smile and does our body language reflect that smile? Are we truly present as we take them on a tour and listen to their questions and concerns? At the beginning of the school year, do we state our expectations and ground rules clearly? Research has shown that adults need to hear the information presented to them seven times in order to fully integrate – here is where hard copy, email, text, phone call, and face to face conversations come into play. I have heard from more than one director/teacher that texts seem to work best due to the fact that parents check their phone frequently. At the beginning of the year, do we discuss Developmentally Appropriate Behavior and how it is incorporated into our classrooms, observations, and social/emotional learning? Building any relationship takes trust which takes time to develop. Families are entrusting us to value their child. Luis said that when he asked parents what they wanted for their child, the overwhelming response was “I want my child to be safe, happy, and to make friends”. It is up to us to make that a reality. So what happens when we have to have those difficult conversations with parents? If a relationship is there it can be so much easier. Luis talked about the “Sandwich Approach”. When using this approach you: Start with a positive comment Move on to the behavior that needs to be acknowledged End with a positive comment I have seen so many of you do this, now we know the professional name for it. Luis hones in on the fact that as Early Childhood Educators, it is our professional duty to be lifelong learners, we must keep up with new information in the field if we are to advocate for our children. Think of it this way – would you bring your car to a mechanic that was not up to date with the latest technological advances in the automotive field? As we have learned in the past few months, there is so much virtual learning being presented, so many leaders in our profession are offering free materials, and insights on their websites. Think of FLAEYC and NAEYC when looking for professional journals. If we are to support our children and their families, we must know the latest information in issues such as trauma, sensory integration, implicit biases, gender equity, and much more. If you have taken the time to build a relationship with your families and if you continue to be a lifelong learner, it will be so beneficial when you have to have those difficult conversations with parents about their child needing special services. If you have documented observations and used the “Sandwich Approach” it will be so much easier for parents to believe and trust that you truly are a collaborative team and that you are there to support them. Be that person who builds a relationship on trust, honesty, communication, and connection. Be that person who makes the parent feel as if they and their child are welcomed and loved. Be that person. Back to Coaching Back to Newsletters